Saturday, February 17, 2018

Delays, Rebounds & Good Intentions to Follow That New Path...

Yes it has been several months without any kind of update.  That is because life has thrown me a few curves, mostly health related but nothing new for me, other than a hellishly long flu which has left me with a little added breathing issues.  The physical and emotional hurdles have slowed down my momentum to a barely visible crawl.  Hell most days I'm totally stopped and buried under the weight of my vehicle, or body I should say.  It has been difficult to get out of the ensuing darkness, to find that lost velocity towards a goal that seems far away again.  


Months after I'd intended to already be on stage singing and doing the strip tease at the same time, I've only ended up rebounding and going back on my word that I'm done performing burlesque without this added challenge.  I'm very disappointed for letting illnesses enable me to be a procrastinator and for putting my desires on the back burner.  


I am not going to set myself up for failure again by setting a hard timeline in my own head as I did before, and then be depressed when I can't follow through.  The depression stalls everything and I crumble under the pressure.  All I do know is that soon as I believe I'm ready, I will be leaping forward in what I hope is a good direction.  I accept in advance that it's likely going to take me longer than I want and that's OK.  So long as I finally do it properly at least once, I'll be happy.  And if people like it and I can do it more, that'd be nice too.  


I know I have a lot of other friends out there with chronic illnesses, some of us with more than just a few of them weighing us down.  We tend to not know when to say to ourselves that it's human and acceptable to fall short, to not feel well enough, to delay this or that and to not punish ourselves for the shortcomings or limitations.  I am guilty of doing this self-flagellation a LOT.  I'm writing this mainly to let myself know I can fall short but that I must not give up.  I'll lose the battle with depression randomly, and often. But so long as I still try to get shit done when I can see a glimmer of light again, I can say I did my best.


To my friends dealing with strife or hardship of whatever variety life has thrown your way... find the light moments, the things that keep you dreaming and reaching.  It's so tempting to give in to the darkness that is found in so many places that we need every drop of loving light we can see to keep us true to ourselves.  


I've found that cutting off my creative outlet did more to hurt myself than I thought it would.  I have been disenchanted with the burlesque community/scene or whatever you wish to call it for a long time.  I felt myself being overlooked, not asked to perform very often and not being accepted into shows more often than not - which lead to a lot of negativity and heartache.  I told myself to walk away and not come back until I could try something new, to sing, and see if it garnered more interest.  Too soon I realized how much lonelier I was feeling and it was only getting worse.  So I have started to jump in on a few shows here and there again.  My rebounding made me feel weak and sheepish, but my desire to get out and play again was far stronger.  I'm glad I recently was able to perform at Galaxy Fest in Colorado Springs with good friends, although I was absent and ill for one of the two days and injured the next.  I am happy to say I went ahead and performed freshly injured and just did it no matter what the pain was like.  That is a small accomplishment, but I'll take it.  It is a little bit of light.  Live in the light!!!


As a reward for reading this long rant, which likely is just going on circles, here are a few videos that I've been sitting on for months: 



Barb Wire Dolls Show
Oct 19, '17
The Marquis Theater, Denver



 Obscura Drag Show 
"Illumiparty" 
Nov 11, '17
The Zodiac Venue & Bar, Colorado Springs 

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

A Transition from burlesque...

It is with a sad heart that I have decided to step back from performing burlesque after 6 years.  


My decision is precipitated by the fact that it is nearly impossible for me to book myself into shows, particularly ones of the high caliber that I crave. Being overlooked so often gets to be too much and I react by being increasingly sensitive to the rejection and feeling bitter. The reason I began performing was simple: to gracefully show people the fun things I made and to see what my friends were doing with their creative endeavors. It's been quite a while since the fun to bullshit ratio has been balanced, so I'm simply going to stop.  


The Golden Legends Challenge and the accompanying fundraising expectations were too much for me and I had to back out of that show.  Honestly, I entered it hoping to be a protege - not a back up in case a protege drops out. I realized after I applied that I should have just submitted my signature act Queen B to the showcase, as that was what was wanted from me. This was yet another instance of my desires being set to the side, of me being told I was almost good enough, but not quite.  The meaning I took away was: we really just want the glowy EL Wire act that you took to festivals in 2014.  Much as I wanted to follow through with the Golden Legends Challenge, my heart just wasn't it in when it came down the way it did.


I have two last performances, both with The FOX and both in Ohio.  I find it very appropriate that my last shows are in my home state where it all began.  


* The Midwest Burlesque & Rockabilly Weekend
     June 1-4 2017
        event page: 
https://www.facebook.com/events/795168813966448/



* The 7th Annual Ohio Burlesque Festival
   August 2-5 2017
        event page:
https://www.facebook.com/events/1022160514499130/



AND THEN... I'm going to delve into totally new territory for me.  But I can't blow the top off the news until I'm ready and already doing it.  
Stay tuned....



Thursday, February 16, 2017

Golden Legend Champion Challenge

I nervously sent off my application for the Golden Legend Champion Challenge just now.  I say nervously because I would really love to be part of this and also it frightens the hell out of the MCS part of me (which is a big part).  I'm not sure I can physically do what might be asked of me by putting myself out there for this great opportunity, but a fellow performer urged me to apply and I decided to go for it.  I applied just for the challenge, not the showcase.  SO if chosen, I'd be one of only 7 and would be working closely with a Living Legend of Burlesque!  Very daunting indeed!!! 

GLCC - Golden Legend Champion Challenge will be in Colorado Springs this year!
Hosted by Peaks and Pasties at The Gold Room August 11th - 13th.


There are a few days left to apply for other performers who may be interested, here is the website link:







UPDATE: 
I was accepted as an alternate.  Meaning, if one of the 7 protoges cannot fulfill their duties or follow thru for whatever reason, I'm on board.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

The Jazz Happenings @ The Stage Stop can look like this:
my New Year's Intentions set on paper, then set to improvisational music as lyrics for which I do an improv dance.  Such fun!




Really folks, it's well worth the drive into the mountains for a night of festivities.  The shows happen from 7-10p on the 3rd Wednesday each month and are complimentary thanks to the venue, which also offers 10% off meals and drink specials during the show.

fb event page:


The next show is COCK themed.  This is, admittedly, partly my doing as I'm bringing my Viking number with my infamous "ship."  It sparked the idea for the theme and I assure you there's been very amusing banter about what other acts and activities will happen.  I can't spoil surprises though, so come out to see the spectacles that await you! 


Viking Act


I'm stoked that my good pal Jinxy Poppet is traveling up from Colorado Springs to perform too!! 
Jinxy Poppet

Her fb page:




And of course none of this could happen without the producer Beautyofmyland and the venue Stage Stop!
So a big thanks for the chance to perform in this historic place!

fb page for Beautyofmyland:
https://www.facebook.com/beautyofmyland/?fref=ts

fb page for Stage Stop:



Thursday, November 10, 2016

A New Monthly Jazz Fusion Night at The Stage Stop in Rollinsville, CO

I'm pleased to be part of the first show in a new monthly Jazz Fusion Night presented by Beautyofmyland!  The show begins Wednesday November 16th at 7pm.

The Stage Stop is a historical venue and eatery tucked away in the mountains in a tiny town called Rollinsville.  This should prove to be an interesting time, so please come out and support local artists and performers in a rustic mountain setting.  If you're a local artist/performer this may be a new venue and night for you to express yourself.




event page:
 https://www.facebook.com/events/1777140232559504/?notif_t=plan_user_invited&notif_id=1478839198103586


This event is produced by Beautyofmyland.
 facebook page:
 https://www.facebook.com/beautyofmyland/?fref=ts

Barb Wire Dolls in Denver Nov 18

Alrighty folks, it's that time again, when my path collides with the Barb Wire Dolls!  I love those times!

 
November 18th
with
Barb Wire Dolls

@
Herman's Hideaway, Denver, CO
https://www.facebook.com/events/1131518966913531/


Barb Wire Dolls FB page:
 https://www.facebook.com/barbwiredolls/?fref=ts


It's been a long time it seems, so I'm really looking forward to seeing them play as well as getting to do a little play myself just before they go on.  Get there early to see all the bands and stay late so you don't miss any of the fun!


The next time our worlds will collide is Dec 21st in Phoenix, AZ.  

Monday, October 24, 2016

in the middle of Halloween goodness...

I'm thankful to have had a few shows recently to keep my creative urges satiated.  I've performed at a few new venues and made news friends and run into existing ones and it's been a good few weeks.  I've got one more big Halloween show coming up this Saturday at the Zodiac in Colorado Springs... The Ghouls Gathering!  It's not to be missed if you're anywhere near the area, as there will be activities during the day, vendors and entertainment and raffles in the evening.  So much I can't mention it all, you just need to come out and of course wear a costume and enter the contest!

I'll be bringing out Queen B, which is a rare thing as she's so sensitive and in need of constant maintenance.  So if you have never seen the one that took me to all the festivals in '14... this is your chance.

 Event Page:
 https://www.facebook.com/events/1581270082169324/




There is a Punk Rock Burlesque show coming up on November 15th to which I'll be bringing my holiday act.  That one is getting the music updated again... reverting back to Vivaldi's Winter but a totally different take on just the final movement.  I'm excited to see how it comes off!  Don't miss the snow!





Then there is a brand new monthly show starting on November 16th at the historic Stage Stop in Rollinsville, CO.  A good OH friend is producing a Fusion Jazz Night and I can't wait for the new adventure to begin!  It will be  a multi-media show with live music and performances of many kinds.  More info TBA....





Other than some health issues which are nothing new but need addressing finally, things are going ok.  Colorado treats me well and I love her for it!  I've just gotten a temporary medical marijuana card and haven't even gotten to use it yet... weird for me eh?  The real card arrives in a month or so.  Kinda nice to have that and I don't know why I waited with my chronic pain. 




The RV is doing ok still, though nothing has been done to replace the missing glass up front in the cab and that toxic wood is still bugging me.  That will be remedied ASAP.  



 Today has been leisurely spent at a new campsite outside of Canon City, CO.  Close to town but not too busy and pretty quiet.  I'll be back to explore more one day for sure.